Steal Her Look: Dancing Emoji
Marchesa silk gazar gown ($6,950)
Casadei pumps ($1,300)
Beer honestly just tastes how I imagine urine to taste it is so rank and people are always like nah try this because this is special Beer and then it’s like oh ok urine with cinnamon in it great
a sad and lonely Mike Wazowski for your dashboard
I wonder what happens when you drag him
love how this is gonna look on my blog
IF YOURE ON MOBILE CLICK IT!!!
does cocaine smell good or something
my boss asked me to stop doing this
If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
im pretty sure bromance is the perfect example of how embarrassingly fragile masculinity is. you know what a female bromance is called? a friendship
It’s a goth
me before posting something on tumblr: no that could offend someone
TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS WE LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU MOW THE GRASS THE BLADES RELEASE A CHEMICAL THAT MAKES THAT GLORIOUS SMELL BUT THE REASON WHY THEY RELEASE THE CHEMICAL IS TO WARN OTHER GRASS BLADES OF DANGER SO WHEN WE SMELL THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS SMELL IT’S NOT JUST A GOOD SMELL IT’S THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD AND SCREAMS FOR HELP OF THOUSANDS OF GRASS BLADES
ok they going to warn the grass and then what ? explain how the other grass will run away from the lawmower ?
people who literally cannot shut the fuck up about being in a relationship
People who literally cannot shut the fuck up about being single.
People who literally cannot shut the fuck up.