i am jennifer, and im slowly spiraling into a hole of awesomeness
I often forget that not everyone reads gay fanfiction
the person that invented bagels deserves an olympic gold medal
a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
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why the fuck would you email a tumblr post to someone
hey grandma you gotta read this johnlock smut fic
people say when you eat chocolate you break out but i dont see how consuming a hersheys bar is gonna get me out of jail
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
DUCK UPDATE: IT HAS IMPRINTED AND THINKS THIS BOY IS IT’S MOMMY. OMG
THE FACT THAT WE ALL KNOW WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT TALKS ABOUT OUR SOCIAL LIVES
love how bus drivers give each other that little wave or nod when their buses pass like they’re in a secret bus driver club who are actually on a way more important mission than what seems, they’re actually out preventing public mayhem and evil villains on fake nuclear buses.
i feel bad for nice sharks because no matter how nice they are everyone screams and swims away scared shitless like maybe that shark just wanted to braid hairs and talk about celebs
i lobster
but then i flounder
it should rain hash browns
OH ‘sexually active’ i thought you said ‘radioactive.’ well in that case, no. i am not
